Ramadan 1432 /August 2011.
 
Theme: Good Manners / Character Building.

Using The Help Me Be Good Series
By Joy Berry

With Supporting Quran Verses & Hadith.
Negligent Misbehavior
1.	Being Lazy (Opposite:  Be hard working)
They believe in Allah and the Last Day; they enjoin what is right, and forbid what is wrong; and they hasten (in emulation) in (all) good works: They are in the ranks of the righteous. (Surah Al-Imran, 114)
For such the reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens with rivers flowing underneath,- an eternal dwelling: How excellent a recompense for those who work (and strive)! (Surah Al-Imran, 136)
Verily, the hypocrites seek to deceive Allah, but it is He Who deceives them. And when they stand up for As-Salat (the prayer), they stand with laziness and to be seen of men, and they do not remember Allah but little. 
( Surah An-Nisa, 142)

Hadith & Other Sayings:
The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) frequently made the following supplication: O Allah I seek refuge in you from the depression and grief and I seek refuge in you from helplessness and laziness and I seek refuge in you from cowardice and miserliness and I see refuge in you from the overpowering of debts and the wrath of people!
(Sunan Abu Daud)
Abu Hurayra (May Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) as saying: “A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer, and there is good in everyone, Strive for that which will benefit you and seek the help of Allah, and do not be helpless. If anything (bad) happens to you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such-and-such, then such-and-such would have happened.’ Rather you should say, ‘Qaddara Allaah wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allaah decrees, and what He wills He does),’ for (the words) ‘If only’ open the door to the Shaytaan.” [Sahih Muslim, 33, #6441].

Narrated Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him): Allah's Apostle (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Satan puts three knots at the back of the head of any of you if he is asleep. On every knot he reads and exhales the following words, 'The night is long, so stay asleep.' When one wakes up and remembers Allah, one knot is undone; and when one performs ablution, the second knot is undone, and when one prays the third knot is undone and one gets up energetic with a good heart in the morning; otherwise one gets up lazy and with a mischievous heart." (Sahih Bukhari- Volume 2, Book 21, Number 243).

Imam Ahmad advised: Whatever good you are able to do then do it- perhaps you will not be able to tomorrow. And do not postpone today's deeds for tomorrow, perhaps tomorrow will come and you are deceased.
2.	Being Careless or Neglectful ( Opposite: Be Careful) 
"Lest the soul should (then) say: 'Ah! Woe is me!- In that I neglected (my duty) towards Allah, and was but among those who mocked!'- (Surah Az-Zumar, 56)
So woe unto those performers of Salât (prayers) (hypocrites), those who delay their Salât (prayer from their stated fixed times (Surah Al-Ma’un 4-5)
Hadith & Other Sayings:
Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported, “The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) happened to pass by two graves and said: They are being tormented but they are not tormented for a grievous sin. One of then carried tales and the other did not keep himself safe from being defiled by urine.” (Sahih Muslim).
It was narrated on the authority of Abi Tha'labah Al-Khushani Jurthum bin Nashir, (May Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace), said:
"Verily Allah the Almighty has prescribed the obligatory deeds, so do not neglect them; He has set certain limits, so do not go beyond them; He has forbidden certain things, so do not indulge in them; and He has said nothing about certain things, as an act of mercy to you, not out of forgetfulness, so do not go enquiring into these." 
(Related by Al-Daraqutni and others)

3.	Being Forgetful (Opposite: Be conscious) 
Do you enjoin right conduct on the people, and forget (To practise it) yourselves, and yet you study the Scripture? Will ye not understand? (Surah Al-Baqara, 44)
On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray:) "Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; our Lord! Lay not on us a burden Like that which You lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Protector; Help us against those who stand against faith." (Surah Al-Baqara, 286)
And never say of anything, "I shall do such and such thing tomorrow."Without adding, "So please Allah." and call thy Lord to mind when thou forget, and say, "I hope that my Lord will guide me ever closer (even) than this to the right road." (Surah Al-Kahf, 23-24)
And do not be like those who forgot Allah, and He made them forget their own souls! Such are the rebellious transgressors! (Surah Al-Hashr, 19)
By degrees shall We teach you to declare (the Message), so you shall not forget, (Surah Al-A’la, 6)
Hadith & Other Sayings:
Ibn Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated: The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “Raised from my community are their mistakes, forgetfulness and that which they are forced to do” which is (At-Tabarani)

4.	Being Messy (Opposite: Be Clean & Neat))

O Children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer…(Surah Al-A’raf, 31)
Say: Who has forbidden the beautiful (gifts) of Allah, which He has produced for His servants, and the things, clean and pure, (which He hath provided) for sustenance? Say: They are, in the life of this world, for those who believe, (and) purely for them on the Day of Judgment. Thus do We explain the signs in detail for those who understand. (Surah Al-A’raf, 32)
"And your garments keep free from stain! And all abominations shun!" (Al-Muddathir 74:4-5)

Hadith & Other Sayings:

Rasulullah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) is reported to have said: “Cleanliness is part of one’s Imaan (Faith),” (Muslim, Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi)

“Brushing your teeth (with siwak) purifies the mouth and makes Allah happy” (Ahmad, An-Nasa’I, Sahih Ibn Hibban, Ibn Majah, Al-Hakim)
 
“The perfection of Wudu’ is part of Imaan (Faith).” (Ahmad, An-Nasa’I, Sahih Ibn Hibban, Ibn Majah, Al-Hakim)

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) as saying, "Whoever has hair should honor it." 
Related by Abu Dawud.

Said `Ata ibn Yasar (May Allah be pleased with him), "A man came to the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) with unkempt hair and an untidy beard. The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) pointed to him, as if ordering him to straighten his hair and beard. He did so and returned. Thereupon the Prophet observed, `Is that not better than one of you coming with his hair unkempt, as if he were a devil?"` (Related by Malik).

Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reports: “As the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) was about to go to bed at night, his water for ablution, tooth stick and comb were placed for him. When he got up at night, he would clean his teeth with the tooth stick, perform his ablution and comb his hair. I have seen God’s messenger using a comb made of ivory.” (Related by Abu Al-Shaykh.)
Anas ibn Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) reports: “Allah’s Messenger (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) often applied lotion to his head and frequently combed his beard. He would then cover his head and his robes looked like those of an oil trader.” (Related by Al-Tirmidhi, Al-Bayhaqi and Abu Al-Shaykh.)

5.	Being Wasteful (Opposite: Be Moderate & Balanced)
It is He Who produces gardens, with trellises and without, and dates, and tilth with produce of all kinds, and olives and pomegranates, similar (in kind) and different (in variety): eat of their fruit in their season, but render the dues that are proper on the day that the harvest is gathered. But do not waste by excess: for Allah does not love the wasters. (Surah Al-An’am, 141)
O Children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: But do not waste by excess, for Allah does not love the wasters. (Surah Al-A’raf, 31)
"By time (through the ages). Verily mankind is in a state of loss, except those who have faith and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of truth and of patience and constancy." (Surah Al-‘Asr,103).

Hadith & Other Sayings:
Jabir (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "When a morsel of any of you falls, he should pick it up and remove any of the dirt on it and then eat it, and should not leave it for Satan nor should wipe his hand with towel until he has licked his fingers, for he does not know in what portion of the food the blessing lies.'' (Muslim). 
The final messenger of God, Prophet Muhammad (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) mounted the pulpit, then wept and said, "Ask Allah (swt) for forgiveness and health, for after being granted certainty, one is given nothing better than health." (Related in Tirmidhi)
"No one will be allowed to move from his position on the Day of Judgement until he has been asked how he spent his life, how he used his knowledge, how he earned and spent his money and in what pursuits he used his health" (Related in Tirmidhi)
Abu 'Isa Al-Mughirah bin Shu`bah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Allah has forbidden you: disobedience to your mothers, to withhold (what you should give), or demand (what you do not deserve), and to bury your daughters alive. And Allah dislikes idle talk, to ask too many questions (for things which will be of no benefit to one), and to waste your wealth". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

6.	Overdoing It (Opposite: Be Moderate & Balanced)
O you who believe! Make not unlawful the good things which Allah has made lawful for you, but commit no excess: for Allah loves not those given to excess. (Surah Al-Ma’ida, 87)
And spend in the way of Allah and do not throw [yourselves] with your [own] hands into destruction [by refraining]. And do good; indeed, Allah loves the doers of good. [Al-Quran:2:195]
And He enforced the balance. That you do not exceed the bounds; but observe the balance strictly; and fall not short thereof. (55:7–9)
Hadith & Other Sayings:
“No human being has ever filled a container worse than his own stomach. The son of Adam needs no more than a few morsels of food to keep up his strength, doing so he should consider that a third of his stomach is for food, a third for drink and a third for breathing’ 
(Ibn Maja)

Egocentric Misbehavior

1.	Showing Off (Opposite: Be Humble)
Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbors who are near, neighbors who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah does not love the  arrogant, the vainglorious;- (Surah An-Nisa’, 36)
(Allah) said: "Get you down from this (Paradise): it is not for you to be arrogant here: get out, for you are of the meanest (of creatures)." (Surah Al-A’raf, 13)
Those who behave arrogantly on the earth in defiance of right - them will I turn away from My signs: Even if they see all the signs, they will not believe in them; and if they see the way of right conduct, they will not adopt it as the way; but if they see the way of error, that is the way they will adopt. For they have rejected our signs, and failed to take warning from them. (Surah Al-A’raf, 146)
"And do not swell your cheek (in pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for Allah loves not any arrogant boaster. (Surah Luqman, 18)
Moses said: "I have indeed called upon my Lord and your Lord (for protection) from every arrogant one who believes not in the Day of Account!" (Surah Ghafir, 27)
"And do not be arrogant as against Allah. For I come to you with authority manifest. (Surah Ad-Dukhan, 19)
Only those believe in Our Signs, who, when they are recited to them, fall down in adoration, and celebrate the praises of their Lord, nor are they (ever) puffed up with pride. (Surah As-Sajda, 15)
Do they not look at Allah’s creation, (even) among (inanimate) things,- How their (very) shadows turn round, from the right and the left, prostrating themselves to Allah, and that in the humblest manner? (Surah An-Nahl, 48)
Say: "Whether you believe in it or not, it is true that those who were given knowledge beforehand, when it is recited to them, fall down on their faces in humble prostration, (Surah Al-Isra’, 107)
So We listened to him: and We granted him Yahya: We cured his wife's (Barrenness) for him. These (three) were ever quick in emulation in good works; they used to call on Us with love and reverence, and humble themselves before Us. (Surah Al-Anbiya, 90)
For Muslim men and women,- for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in Charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s praise,- for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward. (Surah Al-Ahzab, 35)
Hadith & Other Sayings:
Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with him) the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “No one who has the weight of a mustard seed of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” Someone said: “Indeed, a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes.” So the Prophet said: “Allah is beautiful and loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.” (Sahih Muslim, Book 1, #164)

2.	Being Selfish; Being Greedy (Opposite: Be Generous & Kind))
You will indeed find them, of all people, most greedy of life,-even more than the idolaters: Each one of them wishes He could be given a life of a thousand years: But the grant of such life will not save him from (due) punishment. For Allah sees well all that they do. (Surah Al-Baqara, 96)
O ye who believe! Give of the good things which you have (honorably) earned, and of the fruits of the earth which We have produced for you, and do not even aim at getting anything which is bad, in order that out of it you may give away something, when you yourselves would not receive it except with closed eyes. And know that Allah is Free of all wants, and worthy of all praise. (Surah Al-Baqara, 267)
But he who is a greedy miser and thinks himself self-sufficient, (Surah Al-Layl, 8)
But refuse (to supply) (even) neighborly needs. (Surah Al-Ma’un, 7)

Hadith & Other Sayings:
The Best Of Alms Is What The Right Hand Gives, And The Left Hand Does Not Know Of  It 
(Bukhari)
 
... And The Kind Word Is Charity, And In Every Step You Take For Salat Is Charity, And To Remove A Harmful Item From The Street Is Charity. (Abu Hurairah)

Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him), who was the servant of the Messenger of Allah, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace), reported that the Prophet, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace), said: 
"None of you truly believes (in Allah and in His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself" (Al-Bukhari & Muslim)

3.	Breaking Promises (Opposite: Fulfill your Promises)
And Satan will say when the matter is decided: "It was Allah Who gave you a promise of Truth: I too promised, but I failed in my promise to you. I had no authority over you except to call you but you listened to me: then reproach not me, but reproach your own souls. I cannot listen to your cries, nor can ye listen to mine. I reject your former act in associating me with Allah. For wrong-doers there must be a grievous penalty." (Surah İbrahim, 22)
And make not Allah’s (name) an excuse in your oaths against doing good, or acting rightly, or making peace between persons; for Allah is One Who hears and knows all things. (Surah Al-Baqara, 224)
Allah will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your oaths, but for the intention in your hearts; and He is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing. (Surah Al-Baqara, 225)
Fulfill the Covenant of Allah when you have entered into it, and do not break your oaths after you have confirmed them; indeed you have made Allah your surety; for Allah knows all that you do. (Surah An-Nahl, 91)
O you who believe! Why say you that which you do not? Grievously hateful is it in the sight of Allah that you say that which you do not. (As-Saff 61:2-3)

O you who believe! Fulfill (all) obligations. (Al-Ma'idah 5:1)

Hadith & Other Sayings:
Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (May Allah be pleased with him) says that Rasulullah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “Four traits whoever possesses them is a hypocrite and whoever possesses some of them has an element of hypocrisy until he leaves it: the one who when he speaks he lies, when he promises he breaks his promise, when he disputes he transgresses and when he makes an agreement he violates it.” (Muslim and Bukhari)
“A borrowed thing should be returned.” (Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud).

4.	Disobeying (Opposite: Be Obedient)
"'(I have come to you), to attest the Law which was before me. And to make lawful to you part of what was (Before) forbidden to you; I have come to you with a Sign from your Lord. So fear Allah, and obey me. (Surah Al-Imran, 50)
Those are limits set by Allah. Those who obey Allah and His Messenger will be admitted to Gardens with rivers flowing beneath, to abide therein (for ever) and that will be the supreme achievement. (Surah An-Nisa’, 13)
O you who believe! Obey Allah, and obey the Messenger, and those charged with authority among you. If you differ in anything among yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Messenger, if ye do believe in Allah and the Last Day: That is best, and most suitable for final determination. (Surah An-Nisa’, 59)
All who obey Allah and the apostle are in the company of those on whom is the Grace of Allah, - of the prophets (who teach), the sincere (lovers of Truth), the witnesses (who testify), and the Righteous (who do good): Ah! What a beautiful fellowship! (Surah An-Nisa’, 69)
So establish regular Prayer and give regular Charity; and obey the Messenger so that you may receive mercy. (Surah An-Nur, 56)
They will swear unto you, that you may be pleased with them but if you are pleased with them, Allah is not pleased with those who disobey. (Surah At-Tawba, 96)
In the result, they both ate of the tree, and so their nakedness appeared to them: they began to sew together, for their covering, leaves from the Garden: thus did Adam disobey his Lord, and allow himself to be seduced. (Surah Ta Ha, 121)
Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you should be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. (Surah Al-Isra’, 23)
We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) you to join with Me (in worship) anything of which you have no knowledge, obey them not. You have (all) to return to me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that ye did. (Surah Al-‘Ankabut, 8)

Hadith & Other Sayings:
Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Shall I tell you which is the worst of the major wrong actions?" "Yes, Messenger of Allah, "they replied. He said, "Associating something else with Allah and disobeying parents." he had been reclining, but then he said up and said, "And false witness." Abu Bakr said, "He continued to repeat it until I said, 'Is he never going to stop?'" (Al-Bukhari)
Abu'd-Darda' (May Allah be pleased with him) said, "The Messenger of Allah, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) recommended nine things to me: 'Do not associate anything with Allah, even if you are cut to pieces or burned. Do not abandon a prescribed prayer deliberately. Anyone who abandons it will forfeit Allah's protection. Do not drink wine - it is the key to every evil. Obey your parents. If they command you to abandon your worldly possessions, then leave them for them. Do not contend with those in power, even if you think that you are in the right. Do not run away from the army when it advances, even if you are killed while your companions run away. Spend on your wife out of your means. Do not raise a stick against your wife. Cause your family to fear Allah, the Almighty and Exalted.'" (Al-Bukhari).
Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "(Of the) major sins are: to ascribe partners to Allah, disobey parents, murder someone, and to take a false oath (intentionally)". (Al-Bukhari).
Abu 'Isa Al-Mughirah bin Shu`bah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Allah has forbidden you: disobedience to your mothers, to withhold (what you should give), or demand (what you do not deserve), and to bury your daughters alive. And Allah dislikes idle talk, to ask too many questions (for things which will be of no benefit to one), and to waste your wealth". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

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Disruptive Misbehavior

1.	Complaining; Whining (Opposite: Be Grateful/ Thankful)
He said: "I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allah, and I know from Allah that which ye know not (Surah Yusuf, 86)
Allah has indeed heard (and accepted) the statement of the woman who pleads with you concerning her husband and carries her complaint (in prayer) to Allah. And Allah (always) hears the arguments between both sides among you: for Allah hears and sees (all things). (Surah Al-Mujadala, 1)
Then do remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me, and reject not Faith. (Surah Al-Baqara, 152)
O ye who believe! Eat of the good things that We have provided for you, and be grateful to Allah, if it is Him ye worship. (Surah Al-Baqara, 172)
"And I follow the ways of my fathers,- Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; and never could we attribute any partners whatever to Allah that (comes) of the grace of Allah to us and to mankind: yet most men are not grateful. (Surah Yusuf, 38)
And remember! Your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): "If you are grateful, I will add more (favors) unto you; But if you show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed." (Surah İbrahim, 7)
We bestowed (in the past) Wisdom on Luqman: "Show (thy) gratitude to Allah." Any who is (so) grateful does so to the profit of his own soul: but if any is ungrateful, verily Allah is free of all wants, Worthy of all praise. (Surah Luqman, 12)
Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you deny? (Surah Rahman)

Hadith & Other Sayings:
Narrated Ali (May Allah be pleased with him): Fatima (May Allah be pleased with her) went to the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) complaining about the bad effect of the stone hand-mill on her hand. She heard that the Prophet had received a few slave girls. But (when she came there) she did not find him, so she mentioned her problem to 'Aisha. When the Prophet came, 'Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) informed him about that. 'Ali added, "So the Prophet came to us when we had gone to bed. We wanted to get up (on his arrival) but he said, 'Stay where you are." Then he came and sat between me and her and I felt the coldness of his feet on my abdomen. He said, "Shall I direct you to something better than what you have requested? When you go to bed say 'Subhan Allah' thirty-three times, 'Alhamdulillah' thirty three times, and Allahu Akbar' thirty four times, for that is better for you than a servant." Bukhari :: Book 7 :: Volume 64 :: Hadith 274.

On the authority of Adiyy ibn Hatim (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: 
I was with the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) and there came to him two men: one of them was complaining of penury (being very poor), while the other was complaining of robbery. The Messenger of Allah (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: As for robbery, it will be but a short time before a caravan will [be able to] go out of Mecca without a guard. As for penury, the Hour (Day of Judgement) will not arrive before one of you takes his charity around without finding anyone to accept it from him. Then (1) one of you will surely stand before Allah, there being no screen between Him and him, nor an interpreter to translate for him. Then He will say to him: Did I not bring you wealth? And he will say: Yes. Then He will say: Did I not send to you a messenger? And he will say: Yes. And he will look to his right and will see nothing but Hell-fire, then he will look to his left and will see nothing but Hell-fire, so let each of you protect himself against Hell-fire, be it with even half a date - and if he finds it not, then with a kind word. (Related by al-Bukhari).
A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said, I asked, “Messenger of Allah, why do you exert yourself so much while all your sins have been forgiven?” To this he replied, “`A’ishah, should I not be a grateful servant of Allah?” (Muslim).
Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “Allah is pleased with His slave who says: `Al-hamdu lillah (Praise be to Allah)’ when he takes a morsel of food and drinks a draught of water.”[Muslim]

2.	Throwing Tantrums / Being angry (Opposite: Be Calm)
Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; - for Allah loves those who do good;- (Surah Al-Imran, 134)
Those who avoid the greater crimes and shameful deeds, and, when they are angry even then forgive; (Surah Ash-Shura, 37)
Hadith & Other Sayings:
Abu Hurairah, (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that a man said to the Prophet, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace), "Advise me!” The Prophet said, "Do not become angry and furious." The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious." [Al-Bukhari; Vol. 8 No. 137)
AbuWa'il al-Qass (May Allah be pleased with him) said: We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and performed ablution, and said: My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Apostle of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) as saying:: "Anger comes from the Shaytan; the Shaytan was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry he should perform Wudu" (Sunaan Abu Dawood)

Narrated Abu Dharr (May Allah be pleased with him), The Apostle of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said to us: When one of you is angry while standing, let him sit down; and if his anger goes away (it is good); otherwise let him lie down. (Sunaan Abu Dawood)

According to a Hadith, Rasulullah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) asked his Sahabah (Companions) (May Allah be pleased with them): "Who do you think is strong or powerful?" They replied "He who throws people down." "No," said Rasulullah (s), "It is he who controls himself when he is angry." Sahih Al-Bukhari 8.135. 

Narrated Abu Huraira, (May Allah be pleased with him) Allah's Apostle (May Allah bless him and grant him peace), said, "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger." (Al-Bukhari).

Narrated Sulaiman bin Sarad (May Allah be pleased with him),: Two men abused each other in front of the Prophet while we were sitting with him. One of the two abused his companion furiously and his face became red. The Prophet said, "I know a word (sentence) the saying of which will cause him to relax if this man says it. Only if he said, 'I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast.' " So they said to that (furious) man, "Don't you hear what the Prophet is saying?" He said, "I am not mad." (Al-Bukhari).

3.	Teasing (Opposite: Speak kindly to people)  
O ye who believe! Take not for friends and protectors those who take your religion for a mockery or sport,- whether among those who received the Scripture before you, or among those who reject Faith; but fear ye Allah, if ye have faith (indeed). When ye proclaim your call to prayer they take it (but) as mockery and sport; that is because they are a people without understanding. (Surah Al-Ma’ida, 57-58)
O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong. (Surah HAl-Hujurat, 11)
Hadith & Other Sayings:
One day Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (May Allah be pleased with him) climbed a tree and his legs became visible. His legs were very skinny, so the Sahaba started laughing ...The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) asked: "What are you laughing at?" We said: "We laugh at his skinny legs, O messenger of Allah". The Prophet said: "By the One in Whose Hand is my soul! His legs will be heavier on the Scale (on the Day of Judgment) than MOUNT UHUD!"

(Narrated by Ahmad in "Al-Musnad", (920) - Shaykh Ahmad Shakir said: ISNAAD SAHIH) 

4.	Gossiping; Tattling (Opposite: Say good things about people)  
O Prophet! When believing women come to you to take the oath of fealty to you, that they will not associate in worship any other thing whatever with Allah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit adultery (or fornication), that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood, and that they will not disobey thee in any just matter,- then do thou receive their fealty, and pray to Allah for the forgiveness (of their sins): for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah Al-Mumtahana, 12)
"And do not spy, nor backbite against one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful." (Surah Hujurat, 49:12)
Do you not see how Allah sets forth a parable? - A goodly word like a goodly tree, whose root is firmly fixed, and its branches (reach) to the heavens,- of its Lord. So Allah sets forth parables for men, in order that they may receive admonition. (Surah I˙brahim, 24)

And the parable of an evil Word is that of an evil tree: It is torn up by the root from the surface of the earth: it has no stability. (Surah I˙brahim, 26)
"Not a word does he (or she) utter, but there is watcher by him ready (to record it)." (50:18) 
Woe to every (kind of) scandal-monger and-backbiter, (Surah Al-Humaza, 1)
"And follow not that of which you have no knowledge. Verily! The hearing, and the sight, and the heart of each of those ones will be questioned." (17:36) 

Hadith & Other Sayings:
The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) defined backbiting when he said:  "Do you know what is meant by backbiting?" They said, "Allah and His Messenger know best." He said, "To say something about your brother which he dislikes." One asked, "Even if what I say is true about my brother?" He replied, "If such defects you say are true about him, then you have backbitten him, and if he doesn't have what you say, then you have committed slander against him." (Related by Muslim, Abu Dawood, and Tirmidhi)
Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) during his Me’raj journey saw some people who had nails made of red copper. They were tearing apart their faces and chests with these nails. The Noble Prophet asked the Angel Jibrail (AS) about them, He said, “They are being punished because they used to eat people’s flesh in their lives, i.e. used to backbite and defame others. (Ahmad)

It was narrated by Abu Musa (May Allah be pleased with him): "Some people asked Allah's Messenger (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) whose Islam is the best?" (i.e., who is a very good Muslim?) The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) replied, "One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongues and hands."  (Al-Bukhari).

The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) is reported to have said: "Do you know who is bankrupt?" The Companions replied, 'The bankrupt amongst us is the person who has no money or property." The Prophet (pbuh) said, "The bankrupt from amongst my Ummah is the one who will come on the Day of Resurrection with a good record of Salah, Sawm and Zakah. But he also had cursed someone, slandered against someone, unlawfully took the property of another, killed someone or beat someone. Then all of these abused persons will receive parts of his (abuser's) good deeds. When all of his (abuser's) good deeds have been removed from his record after he (abuser) pays back for what he owes, then the aggrieved persons' sins will be transferred to and thrown on him (abuser) and he (abuser) will be thrown into the Fire." (Related by Muslim and Tirmidhi) 

Áisha (May Allah be pleased with her) the Prophet's wife described the Prophet's conduct as follows: "He was neither a obscene talker nor a user of bad words. He did not shout nor did he repay evil with evil. He used to forgive people and overlook their sins." (Tirmidhi).
Abu Hurairah, (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace), said: "Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day either speak good or be silent. Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day honor his neighbor. Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day honor his guest." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim)
Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported, “The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) happened to pass by two graves and said: They are being tormented but they are not tormented for a grievous sin. One of then carried tales and the other did not keep himself safe from being defiled by urine.” (Sahih Muslim).

5.	Being Rude/ Interrupting (Opposite: Be Respectful) 
O you of Faith! Do not say (to the Messenger) words of ambiguous import, but words of respect; and hearken (to him): To those without Faith is a grievous punishment. (Surah Al-Baqara, 104)
Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O you that believe! Send you blessings on him, and salute him with all respect. (Surah Al-Ahzab, 56)
Thy Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. (Surah Al-Isra’, 23)

Hadith & Other Sayings:
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "No youth will honor an old man because of his years, without God appointing one to honor him when he is old." (Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1280)
A man came to the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).
Abdullah-Bin-Masood (May Allah be pleased with him) asked the Holy Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) to tell him the deed liked by Almighty Allah. The Holy Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) replied. ‘To offer prayers in time.' He asked him to tell the second best. He was told `to behave nicely with parents'… (Muslim)

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Aggressive Misbehavior

1.	Snooping (Opposite: Mind your own Business) 

"And do not spy on one another," (49:12)
Hadith & Other Sayings:
On the authority of Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him) who said: the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “Part of someone’s being a good Muslim is leaving alone that which does not concern him.” Related by At-Tirmidhi & others.
Abu Hurayra (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Beware of suspicion. Suspicion is the falsest kind of speech. Do not spy or pry. Do not be rivals nor envy one another. Do not hate one another nor show enmity to one another. Be slaves of Allah, brothers, as you have been commanded to be. The Muslim is the brother of the Muslim. He does not wrong him nor disappoint him nor despise him. God-fearing is here," and he pointed to his chest. "It is enough evil for a man that he should despise his Muslim brother. The blood, honor and property of every Muslim is sacred to another Muslim. Allah does not look at your bodies nor your forms, but He looks at your hearts and your actions." (Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood and Al-Tirmidhi).

2.	Lying (Opposite: Be Truthful) 
There is among them, a section who distort the Book with their tongues: (As they read) you would think it is a part of the Book, but it is no part of the Book; and they say, "That is from Allah," but it is not from Allah. It is they who tell a lie against Allah, and (well) they know it! (Surah Al-Imran, 78)
If any, after this, invent a lie and attribute it to Allah, they are indeed unjust wrong-doers. (Surah Al-Imran, 94)
It is those who believe not in the Signs of Allah that forge falsehood: it is they who lie! (Surah An-Nahl, 105)
And when they listen to the revelation received by the Messenger, you will see their eyes overflowing with tears, for they recognize the truth: they pray: "Our Lord! we believe; write us down among the witnesses. (Surah Al-Ma’ida, 83)
Of those We have created are people who direct (others) with truth. And dispense justice therewith. (Surah Al-A’raf, 181)
"O Joseph!" (he said) "O man of truth! Expound to us (the dream) of seven fat cows whom seven lean ones devour, and of seven green ears of corn and (seven) others withered: that I may return to the people, and that they may understand." (Surah Yusuf, 46)
(Also mention in the Book (the story of) Abraham: He was a man of truth, a prophet. (Surah Maryam, 41)
And We bestowed of Our Mercy on them, and We granted them lofty honor on the tongue of truth. (Surah Maryam, 50)
Also mention in the Book the case of Idris: He was a man of truth (and sincerity), (and) a prophet: (Surah Maryam, 56)
"Grant me honorable mention on the tongue of truth among the latest (generations); (Surah Ash-Shu’ara’, 84)
And those who believe in Allah and His apostles- they are the Sincere (lovers of truth), and the witnesses (who testify), in the eyes of their Lord: They shall have their Reward and their Light. But those who reject Allah and deny Our Signs,- they are the Companions of Hell-Fire. (Surah Al-Hadid, 19)
All who obey Allah and the apostle are in the company of those on whom is the Grace of Allah,- of the prophets (who teach), the sincere (lovers of Truth), the witnesses (who testify), and the Righteous (who do good): Ah! What a beautiful fellowship! (Surah An-Nisa’, 69)

Hadith & Other Sayings:
Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (May Allah be pleased with him) says that Rasulullah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “Four traits whoever possesses them is a hypocrite and whoever possesses some of them has an element of hypocrisy until he leaves it: the one who when he speaks he lies, when he promises he breaks his promise, when he disputes he transgresses and when he makes an agreement he violates it.” (Muslim and Bukhari)

3.	Cheating; Being a Bad Sport.( Opposite: Be Fair & Just) 
Woe to those that deal in fraud, Those who, when they have to receive by measure from men, exact full measure, But when they have to give by measure or weight to men, give less than due. (Surah Al-Mutaffifin, 1-3)
"Give just measure, and cause no loss (to others by fraud). (Surah Ash-Shu’ara’, 181)
Hadith & Other Sayings:
The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “The one who cheats (or deceives) us is not one of us.” Muslim (101).
Narrated Abdullah bin Umar (May Allah be pleased with him): A person came to the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) and told him that he was always betrayed in purchasing. The Prophet told him to say at the time of buying, "No cheating." (Bukhari :: Book 3 :: Volume 34 :: Hadith 328)
On the authority of Tamim Al-Dari (May Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: "Religion is nasihah (sincerity)." We said: "To whom?" The Prophet, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: "To Allah and His Book, and His messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk." (Muslim).

4.	Stealing (Opposite: Do not Steal) 
O Prophet! When believing women come to thee to take the oath of fealty to thee, that they will not associate in worship any other thing whatever with Allah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit adultery (or fornication), that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood, and that they will not disobey thee in any just matter,- then do thou receive their fealty, and pray to Allah for the forgiveness (of their sins): for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah Al-Mumtahana, 12)

Hadith & Other Sayings:
Narrated ‘Aisha (May Allah be pleased with him): Usama approached the Prophet on behalf of a woman (who had committed theft). The Prophet said, “The people before you were destroyed because they used to inflict the legal punishments on the poor and forgive the rich. By Him in Whose Hand my soul is! If Fatima (the daughter of the Prophet) did that (i.e. stole), I would cut off her hand.” (Muslim). 
It was narrated by Abu Musa (May Allah be pleased with him): "Some people asked Allah's Messenger (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) whose Islam is the best?" (i.e., who is a very good Muslim?) The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) replied, "One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongues and hands."  (Al-Bukhari).
The Messenger of ALLAH (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “The worst type of thief is the one who steals from his prayer.” The people asked, “O Messenger of ALLAH, how can a person steal from his prayer?” He said: “By not doing rukoo’ (bowing) and sujood (prostrating) properly.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 5/310)

5.	Bullying;  Being Bossy;  Being Mean (Opposite: Be Kind & Nice to people) 
O you who believe! Do not eat up your property among yourselves in vanities: But let there be amongst you Traffic and trade by mutual good-will: Nor kill (or destroy) yourselves: for verily Allah hath been to you Most Merciful! (Surah An-Nisa’, 29)

Hadith & Other Sayings:
It was relayed on the authority of Abu Dhar al-Ghifari, (May Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, of what he related from his Lord, magnified and exalted be He, Who said: 
"O My servants, I have made oppression unlawful for Me and unlawful for you, so do not commit oppression against one another. O My servants, all of you are liable to err except for those whom I guide on the right path, therefore seek guidance from Me so that I should direct you to the right path. O My servants, all of you are hungry (needy) except for those whom I feed, therefore seek food from Me so that I may feed you. O My servants, all of you are naked (need clothes) except for those whom I provide garments, therefore seek clothing from Me so that I should clothe you. O My servants, you sin by night and by day and I am there to pardon your sins, therefore seek forgiveness from Me so that I should grant you pardon. O My servants, you can neither do Me any harm nor can you do Me any good. O My servants, even if the first amongst you and the last amongst you and the whole human race of yours and that of Jinns become as pious as the most pious heart of any one amongst you, it will not add anything to My Power or Kingdom. O My servants, even if the first amongst you and the last amongst you and the whole human race of yours and that of Jinns become as wicked as the most wicked heart of anyone amongst you, it will not decrease anything from My Power or Kingdom. O My servants, even if the first amongst you and the last amongst you and the whole human race of yours and that of Jinns gather together on a sector of land and all ask of Me and if I were to give everyone of them what they asked, that will not in any way decrease what I have any more than a needle decreases what is in the ocean when it is put into it. O My servants, these deeds of yours which I am recording for you I shall reward you for them, so he who finds good should praise Allah and he who finds other than that should not blame anyone but himself." (Muslim)
“Be merciful to those on earth, then the One who is in Heaven will have mercy on you” (Al-Hakim, At-Tabarani fi-Al-Kabir, Al-Katb Al-Baghdadi).

6.	Being Destructive (Opposite: Be Calm) 
When he turns his back, his aim everywhere is to spread mischief through the earth and destroy crops and cattle (Surah Al-Baqara, 205)
And spend of your substance in the cause of Allah, and make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction; but do good; for Allah loves those who do good. (Surah Al-Baqara, 195)
Hadith & Other Sayings:
Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (May Allah be pleased with him) says that Rasulullah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “Four traits whoever possesses them is a hypocrite and whoever possesses some of them has an element of hypocrisy until he leaves it: the one who when he speaks he lies, when he promises he breaks his promise, when he disputes he transgresses and when he makes an agreement he violates it.” (Muslim and Bukhari)

7.	Fighting (Opposite: Overlook Faults, Be Peaceful) 
And he entered the city at a time when its people were not watching: and he found there two men fighting, - one of his own religion, and the other, of his foes. Now the man of his own religion appealed to him against his foe, and Moses struck him with his fist and made an end of him. He said: "This is a work of Evil (Satan): for he is an enemy that manifestly misleads!" (Surah Al-Qasas, 15)
By Allah’s will they routed them; and David slew Goliath; and Allah gave him power and wisdom and taught him whatever (else) He willed. And did not Allah check one set of people by means of another, the earth would indeed be full of mischief: But Allah is full of bounty to all the worlds. (Surah Al-Baqara, 251)
We created not the heavens, the earth, and all between them, but for just ends. And the Hour is surely coming (when this will be manifest).So overlook (any human faults) with gracious forgiveness. (Surah Al-Hijr, 85)

Hadith & Other Sayings:
It was related on the authority of Abu Sa'id Sa'd bin Malik bin Sinan al-Khudri, (May Allah be pleased with him), that the Messenger of Allah, (May Allah bless him and grant him peace), said: "There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm." (Ibn Majah, Al-Daraqutni and others)
“Allah does not like people who fight others and make enemies” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi, An-Nasa’i).
Narrated Abu Huraira, (May Allah be pleased with him): Allah's Apostle (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger." (Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 8.135)

Extras:    http://islamickids.tripod.com/id242.htm

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